roleplayetcetera
The Janitor (Scrubs) Quotes starters

  • I’m gonna give you a nickname. How about Whiney Face?
  • I’m 100% not interested.
  • I don’t want to appear selfish, but stop what you’re doing and focus on me.
  • I do not owe you an explanation for that!
  • I feel like I ought to say no.
  • I’d like to be able to communicate with animals.
  • Gosh, there seems to be a lot of high-volume, overenthusiastic opinion-sharing going on today. I think I’ll join in.
  • You seem unhappy. I like that.
  • How depressing is it being you?
  • Who is this God everyone fears?
  • I’m not drunk.
  • You all look ridiculous.
  • I swear on my unborn fish-boy’s life, you will pay.
  • Don’t compare yourself to him. He’s better.
  • Look pal, if I wanted to sit and listen to someone yammer on about their lives, I’d be at my A.A. meeting right now.
  • Hey, you want to go clubbing tonight? And I don’t mean dancing.
  • I don’t believe in the moon. I think it’s just the back of the sun.
  • I’m a winner.
  • Don’t have kids.
  • Hey, come over here. I want to do stuff to you.
  • How’s therapy going?
  • You need to cry, let’s brainstorm. I could hit you over the head with the wrench, or I could stab you in the gut with the knife.
  • This is easy. It’s like drowning someone.
  • I once found a head in the storage room. Funny story, actually…
  • Good morning, loyal subjects!
  • Okay, let’s go look at dead people.
  • I’m kind of a favorite around here.
  • Taxidermy used to be kind a… hobby of mine. You know, ‘til the state took my license away.
  • I’m gonna give you a four-story atomic wedgie.
  • Well, “what doesn’t kill ya…”
  • Hey. Help me move this weekend.
  • Dammit, man, you cannot afford this.
  • Any other questions? Smart guy?
  • I heard from a reliable source that you want to live in dumpster. I can arrange that. Yep, I know just the right neighborhood.
  • I bet you don’t know how to play Jiggly Ball.
  • Okay, that doesn’t make any sense. And you are not funny.
  • I’m not prepared to operate on anyone!
  • I borrowed it from my brother. He’s a stripper.
  • Who’s ready for a pie break?
  • Once you got somebody’s driver’s license and a urine sample, you get just about anything.
  • Well, that’s not paint, that’s…pudding.
  • It’s no good to hide it from me, ‘cause I got keys to everything.
  • Let me put down my bag of rats and explain something to you…
  • I’m not happy with my uniform.
  • I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason.
  • Heh, Photoshop, you can do anything.
  • I kissed a dude once. It was at furnace camp.
  • Listen, crash in my garage. I guarantee you there will not be another person in there.
  • Well, I hope you realize this means war.
  • Mopping time! Mopping time! It’s mopping time!
  • Hey, I’m wondering, what’s the story with steel wool? I mean, is it steel or is it wool? Make up your mind, steel wool. Are there iron sheep hopping around in Scotland?
  • I read their files. I read everybody’s files.
  • I would like to perform open-heart surgery.
  • I’ll be there. Just let me wash this, uh, glue off my hands.
  • Damn it. I’ve become predictable.
Source: bunchofrpmemes